Unmasking Perfectionism

May 28

Suzie Coco | Sr. HR Manager & Daughter

For years, I thought perfectionism was one of my greatest strengths. Early in my career, it felt like proof that I was capable. I was praised for being detail-oriented, organized, and always prepared. I anticipated needs before they were voiced. That drive was rewarded, and for a long time, I believed it was what set me apart.

Over time, I started to see that what I called high standards was also a kind of armor, a mask I put on to feel safe, competent, and in control. The mask helped me perform who I thought I needed to be. It worked for a while…until it didn’t.

As I moved into bigger roles, the scope, the stakes, and the uncertainty all grew. I couldn’t anticipate everything anymore. The same habits that once fueled success began to drain me and the mask I was wearing started to feel heavy.

I found myself freezing. My thoughts would scatter, my voice would catch, and I’d suddenly feel small. Like I didn’t belong. Like everyone could see through me.

What made it so frustrating is that I knew I was capable. I had received strong feedback, I had built trust with teams, and I had a track record of meaningful contributions. But in moments of pressure, I couldn’t access that version of myself. The harder I tried to prove I belonged, the more disconnected I felt.

That’s why Encanto resonates with me so deeply (and happens to be one of my top played Spotify soundtracks). The oldest daughter, Isabela, is admired for her perfect composure and flawless flowers. But that perfection isolates her. It isn’t until she lets go, singing “I’m so sick of pretty, I want something true, don’t you?”, that she finally connects with her sister. When the mask of perfection falls away, what’s left is honesty, authenticity, and relationship.

My story of self-doubt might not be yours. Some people’s masks look like overachievement, or relentless independence, or always being the go-to person who never says “no”. We can all start to form our own expectations about how we need to show up to succeed.

Unmasking self-doubt isn’t about fixing ourselves. It’s about naming patterns, meeting ourselves with compassion, and choosing to grow anyway. I won’t pretend I’ve arrived. This is a journey I’m still on, learning how to lead with more authenticity and a little less armor.

One thing that has helped me is setting small boundaries for how I show up. Early on, that meant speaking up, even when I hesitated about the right words.

As I’ve stepped into bigger leadership roles, those boundaries have evolved. I hold myself accountable to sharing feedback directly, asking the questions others might be holding back from asking, and not letting tense moments linger longer than they need to.

Those choices don’t eliminate self-doubt, but they keep it from taking over. They’ve given me more freedom to show up as I am, not just as the version of myself trying to get everything right.